Today the subject of me traveling across Europe, for work, came up and me - the drama queen - said "It would kill me"! Not a completely false statement, but maybe a little over dramatic.
We are talking Germany, London, Ireland and Scotland, France, Italy... etc., leaving in 2 weeks. Basically, a tour that includes me training people on our new system in 12 different cities. But in between the trainings I would be free to do whatever I wanted - and the company pays!
But, today I couldn't fathom it.
Talking about travel upsets me inside a lot (I try to keep the crazy bottled up inside as much as possible) because I used to go places all the time with no thought about it. Used to. That's a phrase I use more than I'd like. Now, for me and my special needs, a trip to Vegas takes hours of planning, shopping, shipping food and any number of inconveniences.
Along with my celiac I have a number of other developing health issues, so the thought of traveling to far off places is overwhelming. Besides, I'd be all.by.myself!
All by myself in places where I didn't speak the language, need to make my own meals (can I learn to say "where's the grocery store?" in 15 languages by the end of the month?) and would more likely than not, end up sick in a hotel room, canceling trainings and flying home early - not to mention the threat of deep vein thrombosis on those 12 hour flights...
Even if I didn't have special needs, me traveling alone for 2 weeks in Europe just doesn't sound safe anyway.
I'm completely disappointed. I didn't for one second actually consider it and not too long ago I wouldn't have rejected it for one second!
Tonight, I am sitting here wondering if I'll ever be able to do something like that. If I want to do something like that even. Maybe, if I was going with someone fun and had time to plan? If I didn't have to budget or do it for work? I'd like to think I could and the would is a matter of choice, but somehow I'm not sure. And that makes me really sad.